Hillary Clinton

November 6, 2012

UPDATE: (1/25/13) Adding “What difference does it make?” to “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” Hillary Rodham shows herself to still be…a Clinton.  2016, here we come! Say it loud, say it proud: Hillary. Rhymes with Benghazi.

First, the early days of the Almost President [phew!] and fully failed Secretary of State under the One who stole the nomination from her:

Later on, in high school, attending all the sock hops when she isn’t being best at everything: Girls State, Debating Society, early admission to Wellesley. Telling everyone else what to do, but…she really, really wants to be One Of The Guys. Sadly, nobody dances with her. Maybe that would change when she gets older…

Or maybe not…

By comparison to the slick high octane race hustlers currently in the White House, Hillary and her squire seem rather quaint, recognizable American types. Scoundrels  and ruthless political animals to be sure, but somehow capable of limits to their power hunger. Power is heady, and the Clintons of yore have grown famous in reaching for it, but one is mildly inclined to think, Hillary & Bill would balk at totally selling out the country.

Then again… nostalgia never really looks as nice up close, like those promises of undying love the morning after. It was Hillary and Bill before her who were sure we could deal with Islamic terrorists like Arafat back then and Egypt’s Morsi now. Arab Springs and all sorts of marvelous hopes springing eternal, Hillary had brought peace in our time. Then came that jolting 3 AM call from Libya despite ample warnings prior. There followed the transparently laughable cover-ups, placing of blame on a single YouTube video, weaving tall tales of lovely, loving Libyans carrying our Ambassador lovingly to hospital.

UPDATE 12/15/12: The dodging & weaving continues as Mme. Secretary conveniently conks her noggin just prior to having to testify on what and when she knew about BenghaziGate. Can’t let a little thing like dumped dead diplomats on her watch get in the way of a 2016 Presidential nomination.


The Clintons once looked invincible, masters of manipulation in service to acquiring power. Now this. What a way to end a soaring career! She looks like just another threadbare, tiresome Michelle-Antoinette: a rich, entitled Elitist not much committed to anything except herself and her place in the Family firmament. And what’s with that Huma character?


Everyone was agog over the possibility of a clandestine lesbian affair, but, alas, it’s actually something genuinely serious, a Muslim Brotherhood Mata Hari mole in Hillary’s State Department. You’re gonna need that drink, Hill, before this is all over.


“You’re likeable enough, Hillary.”

Two for the price of one, what a bargain.

Where are they now?

Just a nice Midwestern Methodist girl…

A long tragic odyssey of split ends, back-breaking flips and lethal cuts.

Can this be the end of Rico? Here, they are, he looking frail, she looking blowsy, hanging out at some rich Dem donor lady’s birthday party in a fashionably shabby boite. Democrats. Party of the People, The Little Guy and (in reality) a pack of Old Lefties dying to see the comeback of kings and queens exacting tribute and living like royalty. The Essential Michelle-Antoinettes.

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	Bill and Hillary Clinton at Roberto's Pizza in Bushwick, Brooklyn Friday night. Caption for Instagram photo is:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

The site of the fancy-schmancy party above: get the funkily ratty facade!! Graffiti! Soviet-gray uber-functional cinder blocks! What? No garbage strewn carefully in front? Discarded needles? Used condoms? How street-cool is this!?

robertas pizza

Such is the fate of hyper-rich, retired Democratic politicians put out to pasture. Something to pass the empty days for them, an incalculable blessing for us.

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