Michelle-Antoinette

Oh puleez, keep your nose out of my kitchen and out of my life.

Like Global Warming, ObamaCare and whatever other “crisis” they dream up to warrant takeover of our lives, Michelle’s Food & Exercise Scheme is just one more way of scamming billions in taxpayer money in the heart-tugging name of __________, in this case, “the children.” Anyone objecting to this routine extortion and graft (benefiting no one except Michelle and her cronies) obviously hates children and revels in seeing them starve or get fat, preferably both simultaneously.

Stunt produce from “her” White House garden and all, a perfect metaphor for the “fake but accurate” Obama years…

Check out glam Earth Mother’s thou$and+ dollar ($228 windbreaker, see boot details below) gardening wardrobe. All of us genuine gardeners can relate.

One way for thee….

…and whatever and however much I please for me:

 

More than meets the eye, more than meats and pie…Michelle’s worthy-on-the-surface Anti-Obesity crusade is a billion dollar gravy train for food service unions, in particular, SEIU.

We are informed that overweight kids are “a national security issue.”

Barack’s 2007-08 campaign boycott and demonization of Walmart create a problem for Michelle’s own very profitable involvement with the diabolical food industry. And now Walmart chairman Sam Walton is one of Obama’s most visible crony capitalist suppporters. See how it works when private business finds itself on the receiving end of the kindly socialist cudgel? Olive Garden finds itself getting special waivers from the coming yoke of ObamaCare in exchange for trumpeting calorie and salt cuts! How long before the chairman of the villainized McDonald’s comes on board the Obama Express…and how quickly his politics will change when no longer in the crosshairs of Michelle and her Cholesterol Cops.

Meanwhile, a multi-billion dollar bill passes in 2010, bankrolling Her beloved child nutrition cause. Big Mommy declares, “We can’t just leave it [what kids eat] up to the parents.” And, please clarify again: who  stands to gain from this new Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act slush fund?

Out on the road putting the screws to the National Restaurant Association, our First Menu Micro Manager samples every flavor of ice cream known to Baskin-Robbins and man, presumably clearing her palate between each course of lobster and spare ribs.

And our culinary Role Model eschews raw veggie crudites to chew on something a bit more…decadent. Who could begrudge her a Shake Shack attack? Absolutely no one. Unfortunately, she feels entitled to begrudge us our choices.

Will the adventures of America’s First Eater never end? One must marvel at Michelle’s creativity in pursuit of yet more hundreds of millions of federal tax dollars to buy more votes and entrenched entitlements in lower income communities. This time it’s bankrolling more  grocery stores in those areas she has deemed “food deserts.” Those of us questioning the use of these funds and the efficacy of such a project should admit ahead of time to being advocates for bringing back  the 19th century Work House, not to mention the reinstitution of slavery.

If it’s all “for the children,” those rotten brats are not expressing proper gratitude in New Jersey. And Minnesota and Kentucky. And Montana.  Leave it to the little ingrates to tweet thousands of heartfelt #ThanksMichelleObama. Among the more positive comments accompanying other photographic evidence: “Garfield wouldn’t eat this” and the rather more terse, “Gross!”

So, what do you do to make the kids eat their broccoli? Spy on them with cafeteria cameras near the overflowing garbage cans? Force 4 year olds in Kentucky to throw out the perfectly good lunch her mother has provided from home and force her to pay for an approved school lunch? How about the surefire  bribe them with M&Ms? Works every time. And truth be told, if you don’t really care about what they’re eating so much as to how politically valuable the ‘chillun’ can be as PR pawns, who’s complaining?

This researcher has grown wan with fatigue and beset by a strange gnawing feeling after poring through Michelle-Antoinette’s tireless plans for planning our meals and controlling our every calorie. So we need a break…and so does she. 

When I grow up, I want to be a Mover & Shaker just like Michelle Obama and Harry Reid.   Or maybe not.